So, despite incontrovertable evidence of my furry-all-overness, Granny Fugly asked me to bring Big Chief Fugly a bucket of water. To make things even sweeter, Big Chief Fugly would give me forty big ones, tucked right into my G-string.

Can you see, oh wise Diary, why I'm a bit concerned about my diminishing grasp on any sense of right or wrong?

In any case, I filled a water bucket and pranced up to find the Big Fugly himself. He happily took the water, hesitant to remove his enormous cow ass from the Barcalounger, and gave me forty pieces of some little round things. I don't know if they're rocks, old cow droppings, or some kind of coin, but they sure as hell ain't gold.

Diary, after just my second visit to the Grand World of Warcraft, I'm a duck-murdering, naked, somewhat perverted, G-string wearing, furry-back-having, ugly, fugly cow. But I've got myself forty round things, so now I'm the big duck-murdering, naked, somewhat perverted, G-string wearing, furry-back-having, ugly, fugly cow on campus.

Could it possibly get any better than this? No, seriously, could it possibly get any better than this?

And that's how I end my foray into ignomy. Diary, I still feel strangely unsatisfied. I miss capping bases, setting up "D", and killing everything that's not green. I feel like I've entered a new world, a world where it's okay for an incredibly ugly cow to wander around mostly naked and get paid by sweet old ugly grandmothers to bring water to the incredibly lazy Fugly Ugly Big Chief who heads up this particular chunk of paradise.

They seem to accept me, so I'm oh-so-gradually learning to accept them.

Fun in this world seems a long way off, but at least my clothes no longer chaffe.

Dale Troppito and Dawna Paton are managing partners of the Gantry Group. Troppito has guided Gantry's rigorous ROI best practice models based on a 25-year career in the technology sector as a CEO, product development executive and chief marketing officer. You can reach her at dtroppito@gantrygroup.com. Paton believes that the technology leaders of the future will be those that understand the crucial role that a market-validated, value delivery strategy and compelling ROI play in shaping corporate competitiveness and customer satisfaction. You can reach her at dpaton@gantrygroup.com.