Dear Diary,

Apparently, you can't strip naked when you're dead.

Yesterday, I left the Tent Ghetto that has been my World of Warcraft home these last three days, and ventured forth, continuing my assault against all things PETA holds dear.

First, Fugly Ugly told me he'd give me some stale bread if I went off and killed some pretty little kitties. Anyone who knows me knows I love kitties, and my earlier experiments walking the fields outside Tent Ghetto told me that the kitties wouldn't attack, if I didn't go after them.

I went after them. I hunted them mercilessly until I had enough pelts to make Fugly all warm and fuzzly. Then I went and met some wackjob who lives in a tent, alone, in the hills outside town. With everyone else living inside Tent Ghetto, you gotta wonder just how bad this cow's B.O. is to get him sent, Theodore Kaczynski-like, out into his own private Idaho.

Well, Teddy apparently wanted me to prove my strength by going forth into the prickly pears and killing some wild bores (was he suggesting I hunt Congresscritters?) and then some wild bored dudes. Apparently, if I killed off enough of these bored dudes, stole their belts (what is the fixation with belts in this world?) and returned them to him, he'd be all happy and not bomb some unsuspecting geek, or something like that.

Meanwhile, some other ugly cow, this time someone who called himself a lieutenant or something, asked me to bring back the head of the chief of the bored dudes. These "people" are lazy. They're always asking me to do their dirty work for them.

Yeah, ok, fine. So I tried. And I died.

Dying is a trip here in World of Warcraft. When you die, a dialog box appears. This we will designate THE GREAT DIALOG BOX IN THE SKY. When it appears, you've got to wait six minutes, and then you can resurrect. No wonder Ted Kaczynskicow, up in the mountains, was cranky. After someone dies off, they're back, lickety split, six minutes later.

Well, in practice, it's not so smooth. You can also choose to resurrect right away, in which case you're taken to some black and white, foggy world, pretty much like my brain looks before coffee in the morning, and some showy angel chick offers to sell you back your life for some bucks and some pain. Does this sound like anyone you've dated, 'cause it's a snapshot of my whole adult life. Anyway, if you don't pay her price, you've got to walk through fog town all the way back to your corpse, at which point you pop back to life.

If you wait the six minutes, you're just dumped back with the crazy white goth chick, so it's not really worth it. Just get used to walking in fog city. A lot.

And here's where I started to experiment, like me and Amy Sue did back in third grade. Except I was alone. Ok, like I've been since third grade. In any case, when I was dead, I tried to strip off my Ugly Cow Clothes.