Annoying things for kids
DominoPower senior technical editor Mick Moignard recommends the Roboraptor, shown in Figure D.

FIGURE D

Hey, if we can have zombie clowns, we can have robot dinosaurs! Click picture for a larger image.

Then there's the one that my daughter already has, the starting point for, a Roboraptor. Now what that needs is a bit more speed -- no, a lot more speed, a good deal more noise, and a rather more serious bite. Then with a bit of judicious hacking and reprogramming, to mimic the velociraptors of Jurassic Park and make it rather uncontrollable, it could easily come into the category of "gift for someone you really don't like".

Yep, from kid's gift to crazed stalker robot. That's how we like 'em here in cheapo land. We've seen them anywhere from $16 to $99 depending on which model you buy. But you're cheap, so just print out the picture and give that!

While we're on the topic of annoying things for kids, one of our Iron gaming community friends recommended the Blue Man Group Percussion Tubes Music Station, shown in Figure E.

FIGURE E

It's noisy. Click picture for a larger image.

If that's not annoying enough, you could consider getting a Singing Machine 5.5" TV Monitor Karaoke System with Lyrics, shown in Figure F.

FIGURE F

It's even more noisy. Click picture for a larger image.

Are you too cheap for batteries, but want a lot of noise? Consider the Silver Toy Trumpets, shown in Figure G.

FIGURE G

They're even more loud, and oh, so cheap. Click picture for a larger image.

Difficult to categorize
As promised, this article's going to bounce all over the place. One relatively cheap gift is a neat find -- and it's only appropriate when used with an incredibly expensive gift. So, what am I talking about? Why, a car bow, of course, as shown in Figure H.

FIGURE H

Put a bow on it. Click picture for a larger image.

Believe it or not, these things are only about $30. So, if you're buying someone a car, buy them a cheap car bow.

By far, my favorite weird gift, though, is the Peter Petrie Egg Separator, shown in Figure I. Believe it or not, this is a gift I'd be very amused to get.

FIGURE I

Yes, the egg comes out his nose. Click picture for a larger image.

The $12 Peter Petrie Egg Separator comes from Stupid.com. I could spend hours on their site, looking at and possibly buying the dumbest things. This site is like crack to me. So, consider yourself forewarned. I mean, these people sell Freudian Slippers and a product that turns a hot dog into an edible octopus. I'm in love!

Speaking of love, if you're under 18, don't go on to the next page. That's adult territory.