Now, before I go further, I need to say that Premiere Pro and After Effects are truly amazing products and produce absolutely outstanding videos. So when I show you what happens when Premiere Pro goes off its meds, you'll know it's not because I don't respect the products.

The video I'm working on has three speakers, all talking about the benefits of Exchange, Notes, migration, and messaging. All are lucid, speaking understandable English, pretty much what you'd expect from a short piece of corporate video.

Premiere Pro claims this new audio transcription feature will make video editing easier, so I thought I'd try it out. I fed my very run-of-the-mill video into Premiere Pro. When the transcription came back from Premiere Pro CS4, I was just completely baffled. And I must share. All your base are belong to us.

Here's the transcription (completely unedited, for real, seriously, I couldn't make this up):

[Speaker 0] it's liquidity we see who has stood with us and here they were intent

[Speaker 1] on moving on to some of them Leon Harris here are safe for people with arms race

[Speaker 2] so on all right we'll be watching developments

[Speaker 3] in the district's students many of these letters four

[Speaker 4] two thousand two and CEO of assault and the company on gays in the last bastions of us had died he has stepped in and either

[Speaker 5] we will get you to be adjusted trading before the negotiation here China already has that in those environments riot control agent it's just bad business decision didn't the DA didn't show up in his case yet

[Speaker 4] I say and all the facts the applications you know we have had some problems there and the Senate well I know you haven't listened and acted as an example of an A share our findings the sentence and go back so yes sometimes you just gave you that one he sees the insurgents and you have to see you when you play every day but we could it could actually work for me is there isn't a better decision that set up so so follow

[Speaker 5] me if you've got an application you can do is to lose interest where would she go with these applications and she doesn't change what you do this

[Speaker 1] a beautiful animal is it is the whole city when the shots because of some people not to put me on his design process that the locals you have a problem but don't read to you there's been no problems around she gets she's two years s

[Speaker 5] Haiti is truly organization whose mission in the chest they're trying to work my son said that his nose into his room so I controlled it is prudent business decision it has been going

[Speaker 4] well they don't see any doubt that that is used in laptop our organization the trouble of Advanced tab you know this has to stand up comedy at CNN well who's looking at that who's on what the answer is yes patients are using them as I hear things like that it needs to be a little nervous that perhaps things are as well controlled is that she did it on so that the honesty and honesty some of our opinions changed because those exact figures

[Speaker 6] would you use humans they were designed for use only it is a long time ago

[Speaker 7] indeed the case yes so there is one of our life

[Speaker 6] yes the Pentagon to change quickly this team some of those he he overdosed or you don't know since its very own product we're going to the city's canals the cases that they're thinking more about the use of those of us he just didn't do what do you remember the rupee one hundred and two gentlemen is absolute this is a well of late trading do you present with us nobody he yes but cases there's not a case in the House is looking at all s it's a there was a part of the incidents that didn't do much

[Speaker 8] but it wasn't about to wrap it up against the Dolphins who led the Bulls

[Speaker 9] Youzhny next year see that

[Speaker 6] the voting only to be in a short one part of its more on Haiti the tone and vitamin C Stynes two dollars thirty two on they are going to be done KAGAN The daughters of the solution now it is there were intelligence that we could see an increase in the open sea and how we deal with issues that you and me and my hands that ends up over there and just today residents to keep my fingers here Aussie he also has a piece of mail it's been a great race he's teaching your shirt on in this chair you will be visiting that is being detained since last year to compensate for lower cost nations that doesn't mean I'm not here in the US also talking to some of those three tunnels there was nobody

[Speaker 10] there to receive servers may be the answer is a citizen

[Speaker 7] he concedes or the licenses are and what I've seen what those notes that patients well I think that they're saying

[Speaker 6] you know you probably will pay for my son how to knit it's the most latest storm water drain but the news the number of days due to the day and say you have to use each of whom had worked better for it what you do lose an operations perspective because of her work as a server is the stuff you never know what happened the bill will be an observer of the exchange chairman said is that over the last year where did they ever need to wrap up our discussion any final thoughts you'd like that it has been made well I think there's any information see you then are I think a lot about and what will that process

[Speaker 11] but my son has told us but he still doesn't seem to know pretty well thanks for having me here

[Speaker 6] it's supposed to be seen sitting in a statement on Wednesday the first shot reintegration of snow on us all is keeping options open in pushing both benchmarks are not against her if the CEO had to get the best the Mavs didn't know about all the rest of the operations of its connections ingredients you you were worse how did all right I just wanted us to stay warm the stock is up since the two speeches

[Speaker 12] yes it is today and over again when he does with the station reports we'll do it I expected

So, yeah, well. Um. Wow.

David Gewirtz is the author of How To Save Jobs and Where Have All The Emails Gone? For more than 20 years, he has analyzed current, historical, and emerging issues relating to technology, competitiveness, and policy. David is the Editor-in-Chief of the ZATZ magazines, is the Cyberterrorism Advisor for the International Association for Counterterrorism and Security Professionals, and is a member of the instructional faculty at the University of California, Berkeley extension. He can be reached at david@zatz.com and you can follow him at http://www.twitter.com/DavidGewirtz.